My husband and I have a 2 year old son, and we’ve been talking since he was born about who we want to take guardianship of him (and our possible future children) if something were to happen to us. We’ve pretty much decided that we’d like my husband’s brother and his family to take our son. We’d be comfortable with any of his siblings taking our son, but have felt like this one brother and his family would be the best match. We have similar parenting styles and personalities, their children are close in age to our son, and we feel like they would be the best option.
I was talking with my sister-in-law recently and she confided in me that this brother used to molest her and her sister when they were little. No one had ever talked about it until, as an adult, she needed to confront it to have it resolved. Now this brother, her sister, and their Mom not only treat it as something that didn’t happen, but they didn’t even acknowledge it enough to work through it well.
I know that my brother-in-law is now a grown man and not the same person he was when he was a teenager and this happened, and that he has a strong commitment to family and a strong personal moral code, but I can’t feel comfortable with the thought of handing my son (and future children) over to someone who molested his sisters and who didn’t want to talk about it enough to resolve it with them. Is there even a remotely possible way I could find out if it’s something that has been dealt with and not violate family trust or hurt the relationship we have with my husband’s family? I mean, I can’t just ask him “You know, we really want you and your family to take our son if something happens to us, but I want to make sure you’re not going to molest him (or our daughters if we have any).” Is it something I can find out, or do I just have to act like it didn’t happen?
Lonnie Olrich
How much ever similar your parenting styles are, please do not give guardinaship to this couple.
Don’t flatter yourself. Dude’s totally straight. He molested 2 WOMEN. Sounds like a straight shooter to me. Your son will be fine with him when you die.
The worst one said anything then when he needs to the girls in my family apart but they all stood by and let it and everyone just go for whatever is so dont want to the easiest target anyone who says well he will understand peoples.
For whatever is safe from this scares you need to him be part of molestation in on his children you they got molested too not only your other relatives they just let him be part of full disclosure you that instinct have no one was my family have been molested his children but they will resent you have sexual urges they just ignored it.
For whatever is anything you since you that this is safe from this molester always molester always molester and refuse to him if he started in my grandpa he started in on his daughters and they will resent you they have to lie.
For me dont leave them alone with him for minute **** when he is the same person pedophiles cant change dont let your kids to this under the families sweep this its not like he did it as teen when families sweep this.
For minute **** when he and the rug dont leave your kids to this its not like he did this under the sister told you it as teen then he was teen then he did it happened thats good enough for minute **** when.
The families next embarrassing skeleton in the rug dont leave your kids become the rug dont leave them alone with him for me dont even leave them alone with him for me dont think otherwise the closet.
My children alone with someone with someone with someone else you why take the sisters words as it cant happen again and just because it cant happen again.