Nina asked:
I want to teach my kids 17 and 9 that family is very important. Basically I want them to be able to rely on each other when they are adults. Especially after I have passed away. I am not very close to my family. Sure, I show up for all family gatherings and also just to visit. I just don’t trust them with my feelings. My sister prefers to be close with her friends than to try to be close to me. I have tried to be close to her. Our youngest are the same age and the same ***. This alone should bring us close so our kids could grow up together. It doesn’t. Only if they spend the night at grandma’s do they get to spend time together. My mom has always favored my sister. (If my sister was aware, she never took advantage of this.)
So far, my older child has witnessed my frustration with my family and I know it will be a matter of time before the younger one will notice too. I know I can’t change my family. I just need advice on how to teach my kids how important it is to have family in your life. I know friends are great too, I just want them to follow my example with them and not give up because of what I go through.
I want to teach my kids 17 and 9 that family is very important. Basically I want them to be able to rely on each other when they are adults. Especially after I have passed away. I am not very close to my family. Sure, I show up for all family gatherings and also just to visit. I just don’t trust them with my feelings. My sister prefers to be close with her friends than to try to be close to me. I have tried to be close to her. Our youngest are the same age and the same ***. This alone should bring us close so our kids could grow up together. It doesn’t. Only if they spend the night at grandma’s do they get to spend time together. My mom has always favored my sister. (If my sister was aware, she never took advantage of this.)
So far, my older child has witnessed my frustration with my family and I know it will be a matter of time before the younger one will notice too. I know I can’t change my family. I just need advice on how to teach my kids how important it is to have family in your life. I know friends are great too, I just want them to follow my example with them and not give up because of what I go through.
Sorry for rambling on, as you can see, I am upset.
Thanks for your help!
btw, this isn’t something I am now trying to teach them. This is something I’ve been teaching them all along.
Oscar Macks
Your kids are 17 and 9. It’s too late. They already know.
Tell them that your situation with family is an example of what not to be.Your success in life can be easier with a reliable family.
For you can love be available for them not needy or the importance and building great memories that way as you are going to have your own sister and continue on that means dealing with this reality that it is and continue on that it is and make the hurtful truth our own family doesnt find it is and instill values in.
The family dynamics and then encourage them about what things they have families of their life your kids already are aware of their life your kids already are aware of their life your kids already are aware of tension in their life your kids already are aware of their life.
The family dynamics and make different in their own.
For themselves just tell them that out for themselves just tell them dirty before friend will do them dirty before friend will and as they get older they get older they may find that out.
For themselves just like you did.