Archive for February, 2009
Mashubi Rochell asked:
Bringing healing to family relationships can be one of the most difficult aspects of the spiritual healing process. The reason for this is that we choose to incarnate within our specific families for the purpose of healing and growth, which often challenges us deeply to the core of our being. For many of us it may feel as though healing is exactly the opposite of what we are receiving with our families, as we endure the difficulties and limitations of our relationships with our parents and siblings.
Before incarnating, we choose families which can bring to the surface specific issues and themes that our soul wishes to explore, learn about and heal. Often these issues are challenging and bring to the surface discomfort that we would prefer go avoid rather than face. Some people deal with this discomfort by placing blame on their parents or the situation they were born into, which provides a temporary outlet for the emotional pain they have experienced, but ultimately prevents the free flow of love, light and healing in the heart.
As we grow personally and spiritually, there comes a time when we are called to release ourselves from the emotional pain we have carried from our childhood. There are steps in this process, which may taker a shorter or longer time, or which may involve many lifetimes of learning.
The first step we take is to become conscious of the pain we are carrying. If we have repressed these feelings, they will emerge when we are ready to face them. Sometimes an event such as an illness or a loss can illuminate feelings we have buried or forgotten. Once we become conscious of the pain and allow ourselves to simply feel it, healing can begin. Being with the pain, and bringing it before God is an essential part of the process. In this way we are not alone, as the divine Creator who is All sees, hears and feels with us. This can be done with prayer, intention, meditation, creative expression, or any way that resonates.
Once we have become more conscious of the pain we carry, the next step involves the willingness to let go of our pain. Though on the surface it may seem strange to want to hold onto pain, there are many deep emotions that can become entrenched within us, and wrapped around our sense of self. We unconsciously hold on to the pain, because it is all we have ever known. For example, if we are carrying anger, hurt or betrayal, we are asked to forgive and to move on. If we were the victim of abuse or neglect, we are asked to let go of our anger, and our entitlement to be angry. This part of the process cannot be rushed, which is why it is so important to be willing to feel our emotions fully first. Once this happens, the next step of healing naturally unfolds.
Once we have traversed these steps of becoming conscious, feeling our pain, and being willing to let it go, then we are fully available to receive a deep and complete healing. As we voluntarily empty ourselves of those things we’ve been holding onto, more of God’s love and light can enter our heart, mind and body. The pathways of life begin to open up and reveal new directions, new possibilities, and new choices. Our hearts begin to open and love blossoms, forgiveness becomes a way of being, and spiritual awareness awakens within us. These are the gifts that come through healing family relationships, a heart full of love and trust, unencumbered by the pain of the past.
Annmarie Klos
Bringing healing to family relationships can be one of the most difficult aspects of the spiritual healing process. The reason for this is that we choose to incarnate within our specific families for the purpose of healing and growth, which often challenges us deeply to the core of our being. For many of us it may feel as though healing is exactly the opposite of what we are receiving with our families, as we endure the difficulties and limitations of our relationships with our parents and siblings.
Before incarnating, we choose families which can bring to the surface specific issues and themes that our soul wishes to explore, learn about and heal. Often these issues are challenging and bring to the surface discomfort that we would prefer go avoid rather than face. Some people deal with this discomfort by placing blame on their parents or the situation they were born into, which provides a temporary outlet for the emotional pain they have experienced, but ultimately prevents the free flow of love, light and healing in the heart.
As we grow personally and spiritually, there comes a time when we are called to release ourselves from the emotional pain we have carried from our childhood. There are steps in this process, which may taker a shorter or longer time, or which may involve many lifetimes of learning.
The first step we take is to become conscious of the pain we are carrying. If we have repressed these feelings, they will emerge when we are ready to face them. Sometimes an event such as an illness or a loss can illuminate feelings we have buried or forgotten. Once we become conscious of the pain and allow ourselves to simply feel it, healing can begin. Being with the pain, and bringing it before God is an essential part of the process. In this way we are not alone, as the divine Creator who is All sees, hears and feels with us. This can be done with prayer, intention, meditation, creative expression, or any way that resonates.
Once we have become more conscious of the pain we carry, the next step involves the willingness to let go of our pain. Though on the surface it may seem strange to want to hold onto pain, there are many deep emotions that can become entrenched within us, and wrapped around our sense of self. We unconsciously hold on to the pain, because it is all we have ever known. For example, if we are carrying anger, hurt or betrayal, we are asked to forgive and to move on. If we were the victim of abuse or neglect, we are asked to let go of our anger, and our entitlement to be angry. This part of the process cannot be rushed, which is why it is so important to be willing to feel our emotions fully first. Once this happens, the next step of healing naturally unfolds.
Once we have traversed these steps of becoming conscious, feeling our pain, and being willing to let it go, then we are fully available to receive a deep and complete healing. As we voluntarily empty ourselves of those things we’ve been holding onto, more of God’s love and light can enter our heart, mind and body. The pathways of life begin to open up and reveal new directions, new possibilities, and new choices. Our hearts begin to open and love blossoms, forgiveness becomes a way of being, and spiritual awareness awakens within us. These are the gifts that come through healing family relationships, a heart full of love and trust, unencumbered by the pain of the past.
Annmarie Klos
Sam Rosenna asked:
With so much economic doom and gloom surrounding us, it makes sense to batten down the hatches and protect your assets. If your assets are scattered about and are not protected, your liabilities could be laid wide open and your financial situation and personal security could be put at risk. However, an offshore trust can be used as an asset protection strategy to rid high net worth individuals of asset protection worries.
What is an offshore trust and what can it do for me?
An offshore trust is similar to an onshore trust – but it is held at an offshore financial centre and has the benefit of greater asset protection than onshore trusts.
An offshore trust is an arrangement entered into by a person or group – the “Trustee,” and a chosen person or group of people – the “Settlor,” by which provisions are made in a legal and binding for – the “Deed of Trust”. Offshore trusts hold the title to assets, funds and / or to property and manage these assets in accordance with the deed of trust to provide offshore trust benefits and distributions to a person or group – the “Beneficiaries” – of the trust funds. The trustee and / or the offshore trust company entrusted with the management of the trust are legally bound to uphold the written agreement, and they agree to the requirements set out by the deed of trust. Once set up, offshore trusts can be used to protect your assets and ensure your financial security now and in the future.
Some of the ways offshore trusts can protect your assets:
Offshore trusts are structured to take your every liability into account and protect you, your estate and any heirs from income, capital gains and estate and inheritance tax
Protection of real estate or large sums of money by removing your personal liability so no one can attack your assets through you in the event of, for example, a divorce, bankruptcy or unjustifiable legal action
Any properties held within an offshore trust are protected from the complicated probate process after death
Assets to be left to many family members can be structured within an offshore trust to ensure that these members receive an ongoing income from all familial assets
When you die, your assets will be kept private to protect your privacy and that of your descendants
Your exact wishes concerning assets or money willed to vulnerable people that you wish to care for after your death must be exactly according to your wishes ensuring that these assets are used appropriately
Avoidance of liquidation of any family business(es) upon the death of an important member of the company
Offshore trusts provide the trustee with great flexibility, control and authority over their assets and provide absolute confidentiality, total privacy and protection from liability. Assets managed by offshore trusts are mainly free from tax applicable in a settlor’s home country or jurisdiction, protecting assets for heirs. An offshore trust is effectively a shield of protection to protect assets from scrutiny, tax and civil legislation and provide peace of mind for people looking to protect their assets and provide for their descendants into the future.
Morton Pantone
With so much economic doom and gloom surrounding us, it makes sense to batten down the hatches and protect your assets. If your assets are scattered about and are not protected, your liabilities could be laid wide open and your financial situation and personal security could be put at risk. However, an offshore trust can be used as an asset protection strategy to rid high net worth individuals of asset protection worries.
What is an offshore trust and what can it do for me?
An offshore trust is similar to an onshore trust – but it is held at an offshore financial centre and has the benefit of greater asset protection than onshore trusts.
An offshore trust is an arrangement entered into by a person or group – the “Trustee,” and a chosen person or group of people – the “Settlor,” by which provisions are made in a legal and binding for – the “Deed of Trust”. Offshore trusts hold the title to assets, funds and / or to property and manage these assets in accordance with the deed of trust to provide offshore trust benefits and distributions to a person or group – the “Beneficiaries” – of the trust funds. The trustee and / or the offshore trust company entrusted with the management of the trust are legally bound to uphold the written agreement, and they agree to the requirements set out by the deed of trust. Once set up, offshore trusts can be used to protect your assets and ensure your financial security now and in the future.
Some of the ways offshore trusts can protect your assets:
Offshore trusts are structured to take your every liability into account and protect you, your estate and any heirs from income, capital gains and estate and inheritance tax
Protection of real estate or large sums of money by removing your personal liability so no one can attack your assets through you in the event of, for example, a divorce, bankruptcy or unjustifiable legal action
Any properties held within an offshore trust are protected from the complicated probate process after death
Assets to be left to many family members can be structured within an offshore trust to ensure that these members receive an ongoing income from all familial assets
When you die, your assets will be kept private to protect your privacy and that of your descendants
Your exact wishes concerning assets or money willed to vulnerable people that you wish to care for after your death must be exactly according to your wishes ensuring that these assets are used appropriately
Avoidance of liquidation of any family business(es) upon the death of an important member of the company
Offshore trusts provide the trustee with great flexibility, control and authority over their assets and provide absolute confidentiality, total privacy and protection from liability. Assets managed by offshore trusts are mainly free from tax applicable in a settlor’s home country or jurisdiction, protecting assets for heirs. An offshore trust is effectively a shield of protection to protect assets from scrutiny, tax and civil legislation and provide peace of mind for people looking to protect their assets and provide for their descendants into the future.
Morton Pantone
Apurva Shree asked:
Family matters are very delicate, especially when the custody of children is involved into the legal battle of divorce. In order to ensure the safety of your children and the fair resolution of your case you would need the best family attorney around. Before you go ahead, first, decide the exact services you would require from your family law attorney. Will you need him/her to get fully involved in the case? What are all the options offered by the different ones in your list? Are they giving you alternatives to solve the case, or are they going for just mediation? Are you willing to financially exert yourself to get the best attorney, or are you dealing with a friendly divorce allowing you to relax over fee issues?
Where To Find The Best Family Attorney?
The best family attorney can be found through Lawyer Referral Services, the Internet, ads and listings, or through the word of mouth. The American Bar Association provides lists and web links to lawyer referral services, where you will find all the attorneys registered in each state. On the Internet you will have to search different sites with links to small and big agencies or you could try popular websites like attorneyfind.com, legalmatch.com or lawyers.com. Ads and listings on the other hand will give you a better idea on what the attorneys specialize in and what they feel to be their strengths.
Among all these research methods the word of mouth will help you to take the final decision. Ask friends or relatives that have previously used the services of a family divorce attorney for example. From their experience you will be able to judge if you are about to hire the best family attorney, or just a mediocre one. Ask them how they found their family attorney and whether they are satisfied with the results.
What To Look For
The best family attorney will be the one who will be professional as well as emotionally supportive. You should be able to communicate at ease with them and feel confident that they will be able to represent you in court. Good communication between the two of you should be essential and you should also be able to trust the family law attorney’s capacity to express in legal terms your wishes and concerns. Your attorney should already have experience with similar cases and should be able to give you a variety of particulars of other cases he/she might have dealt with to win the case.
Freddy Lindie
Family matters are very delicate, especially when the custody of children is involved into the legal battle of divorce. In order to ensure the safety of your children and the fair resolution of your case you would need the best family attorney around. Before you go ahead, first, decide the exact services you would require from your family law attorney. Will you need him/her to get fully involved in the case? What are all the options offered by the different ones in your list? Are they giving you alternatives to solve the case, or are they going for just mediation? Are you willing to financially exert yourself to get the best attorney, or are you dealing with a friendly divorce allowing you to relax over fee issues?
Where To Find The Best Family Attorney?
The best family attorney can be found through Lawyer Referral Services, the Internet, ads and listings, or through the word of mouth. The American Bar Association provides lists and web links to lawyer referral services, where you will find all the attorneys registered in each state. On the Internet you will have to search different sites with links to small and big agencies or you could try popular websites like attorneyfind.com, legalmatch.com or lawyers.com. Ads and listings on the other hand will give you a better idea on what the attorneys specialize in and what they feel to be their strengths.
Among all these research methods the word of mouth will help you to take the final decision. Ask friends or relatives that have previously used the services of a family divorce attorney for example. From their experience you will be able to judge if you are about to hire the best family attorney, or just a mediocre one. Ask them how they found their family attorney and whether they are satisfied with the results.
What To Look For
The best family attorney will be the one who will be professional as well as emotionally supportive. You should be able to communicate at ease with them and feel confident that they will be able to represent you in court. Good communication between the two of you should be essential and you should also be able to trust the family law attorney’s capacity to express in legal terms your wishes and concerns. Your attorney should already have experience with similar cases and should be able to give you a variety of particulars of other cases he/she might have dealt with to win the case.
Freddy Lindie
Paul Friedman asked:
A fairly young couple in an emotional state of turmoil came to see me. . The husband called me and said he was recommended by a previous client whose marriage I saved from an incredibly desperate situation. He was sure I could help him because of what he knew about his friend’s situation, and wanted to set up an appointment with me as soon as possible. He said he wasn’t sure if his wife would come but he wanted to see me either way. I told him I didn’t meet with individuals who are having difficulty with their marriage, except in the most extreme situations, because I didn’t want either partner to mistrust the process (I believe in transparency and the integrity it brings about). He was uncomfortable but said he would talk to his wife and get back to me.
In 15 minutes he called and begged me to make an appointment that very day, which I just couldn’t do. When they did come in later that week (I had to shuffle my appointments like crazy) I had a very weird feeling about it. I don’t ask people too many questions when we meet (problems are natural when folks don’t know how to enjoy a marriage) but I always ask how many children they have and how old they are. This particular couple had two little ones, less than four years old.
I didn’t get very far in telling them I’m not a western psychologist and explaining the process I use when the wife suddenly broke out into tears. She blurted out in between her sobs, “I don’t trust him and I don’t know if I ever will be able to ever again.”
Although I usually stop people from going on about what took place I decided to let her. Her story unraveled, or should I say their story unraveled. Mr. Husband was cheating on his wife with her best friend. When she caught him he denied everything at first, but later confessed to what he had done and told her it was a one-time fling that would never happen again. Unfortunately it turned out to be far from a one-time fling. It turned out he was also having an affair with another friend of theirs from the gym. He admitted to everything and was crying as he was telling her how he would never do it again, that it was all way in the past. When I asked how long ago it happened they told me it was two weeks ago. I was floored; way in the past?! But I didn’t let on. As far as I was concerned they had two little babies who needed their parents. Still I wasn’t about to condone what he had done, or make it seem like it was no big deal. It was a huge deal to her!
I’m not a therapist. In terms of marriage I think of myself as a reverse engineer. I understand how marriages work; I understand the dynamics. I know what breaks them apart and I know what holds them together. I know what makes people happy in a marriage and I know what makes people miserable. I also know that we people are not perfect. As outrageous as this man’s behavior seemed to be I have seen worse and I have seen couples get past it.
So there are questions you may wish to ask and questions you should ask.
I don’t mean to assume anything but maybe most people would be asking questions like… “Is it possible for them to get past the betrayal?” There are sub questions too… “Can he ever be trusted? Will he do it again? Will she forgive him? Will she hold it over him? Will they need therapy?” …and so on.
Those might be good questions, but I asked some different ones. The first question I asked I posed to myself. I asked myself, “What was the value of this marriage?” In other words, is there a really good reason to save the marriage? The answer to that question was a resounding yes. This was a young couple who had two little children who needed both parents in their lives ahead. Despite the general cavalier attitude many professionals have these days about how children will do after a divorce, I personally think children are destroyed by broken homes. I have discussed this at greater length in other articles so I won’t repeat myself (if you are interested in hearing my thoughts on this topic you can read more here: (blog)).
The other question I asked myself, and I know the answer very well, is how long could I expect the marriage to last if it is not a happy one? No matter how important a marriage, the reality is people won’t stay together very long if they are suffering.
I turned my attention to the couple.
I asked the young mother if she loved her husband. I think she was a little shocked to hear this question after all of this very upsetting information came to light, but I didn’t care. Despite her quizzical look I asked the question a second time, and I did so without injecting any irony into my voice. It was a straightforward question; do you love your husband? She said yes. I then asked him if he loved his wife. As the apparent guilty party he went on a bit about how much he loved her and how sorry he was, etc. But I put up my hand in a gesture for him to stop and asked him again; do you love your wife? He said yes.
In order to acknowledge her and inject a bit of humor I knew they would both appreciate I said, “You have a hell of a way of showing it.” I smiled a bit. My smile was way of communicating to them everything was going to be OK.
I asked them if they could imagine getting into an airplane without any formal instruction, and take off relying only on anecdotal tidbits from friendly relatives and friends. I asked them if they thought they would make huge mistakes or little mistakes. They both agreed they would make all kinds of mistakes and probably crash if they even got the plane off the ground to begin with. I explained to them a marriage can test us and will especially test us in areas of our own personal and individual weaknesses.
“It’s a good idea,” I said, “to recognize all people have various strengths and weaknesses that we don’t see, or even begin to imagine until that person is placed in a situation that will test them.” I said, “When we enter into a marriage it isn’t our job to criticize our partner for their weaknesses. It is our job to support them through their difficult times.”
I asked Mrs. Wife if she felt her husband was proud of his disloyalty. I asked her if when they were standing on the altar getting married she thought he was just waiting for his moment to cheat on her, or if he was a victim of his own weakness which was exasperated by the dynamics of dysfunctional behaviors. Naturally she said she didn’t know because of this current state of confusion. I assured her it wasn’t likely. I asked Mr. Husband if she was a perfect wife and then I said please don’t answer that question. I turned to Mrs. Wife and asked if she was a perfect wife. Before she could answer I told her we already knew the answer to that question, and not only is it not her fault that he cheated on her but it wasn’t his place to point out her flaws as a wife either. I told them both it was a great idea to try to be perfect. Making every effort to be the perfect spouse changes the dynamics of a marriage completely.
I told them I was sure their marriage would not only be fine, but they would probably have the most incredible marriage of any of their friends. It would be far beyond anything they ever expected, but they needed a starting point. I asked them if they were ready for that. I asked Mrs. Wife if she could have a perfect marriage would she be willing to let go of the past as best as she could. The energy shifted and I was able to help them begin their new life. I didn’t tell them what to do or offer them therapy. I simply explained what they needed to know in order to have a happy marriage and a wonderful family. I taught them the differences between a man and woman, how minds work, what a marriage is by definition, and how they could have the most amazing marriage by learning what they needed to know. They learned the differences between marital communication and other communication. We spent three 2-hour sessions together; it was all they needed.
I don’t think it’s up to me to explain away people’s behaviors or ask people to forgive each other. As far as I’m concerned the only one who needs to ask for forgiveness is the one who actually feels the pain they have caused for someone else. Until that request for forgiveness comes from an understanding of the pain it has caused, a request for forgiveness seems insincere and manipulative. But I think we should ask forgiveness from God along with guidance that teaches us the right way to behave. I also do not believe in guilt and shame. If we carried all the burdens of our past bad actions we would collapse under the weight. We’re here to learn, grow and support each other in the process.
Trust in a relationship is not as important as love in a relationship. The friends who I just described began their life again with virtually no trust. But their love made all of the difference. They were able to succeed in building a relationship because they chose to love each other despite each other’s flaws and failures. Love is not only the foundation of relationships, it is the foundation for everything. When they and other couples learned that expressions of love are what we actually do and say, they were able to go beyond selfishness and give love without the usual filters and walls.
Please don’t expect perfection from your spouse, but do expect yourself to love and support your spouse, and by all means tell them, “I love you.”
Lacy Arneson
A fairly young couple in an emotional state of turmoil came to see me. . The husband called me and said he was recommended by a previous client whose marriage I saved from an incredibly desperate situation. He was sure I could help him because of what he knew about his friend’s situation, and wanted to set up an appointment with me as soon as possible. He said he wasn’t sure if his wife would come but he wanted to see me either way. I told him I didn’t meet with individuals who are having difficulty with their marriage, except in the most extreme situations, because I didn’t want either partner to mistrust the process (I believe in transparency and the integrity it brings about). He was uncomfortable but said he would talk to his wife and get back to me.
In 15 minutes he called and begged me to make an appointment that very day, which I just couldn’t do. When they did come in later that week (I had to shuffle my appointments like crazy) I had a very weird feeling about it. I don’t ask people too many questions when we meet (problems are natural when folks don’t know how to enjoy a marriage) but I always ask how many children they have and how old they are. This particular couple had two little ones, less than four years old.
I didn’t get very far in telling them I’m not a western psychologist and explaining the process I use when the wife suddenly broke out into tears. She blurted out in between her sobs, “I don’t trust him and I don’t know if I ever will be able to ever again.”
Although I usually stop people from going on about what took place I decided to let her. Her story unraveled, or should I say their story unraveled. Mr. Husband was cheating on his wife with her best friend. When she caught him he denied everything at first, but later confessed to what he had done and told her it was a one-time fling that would never happen again. Unfortunately it turned out to be far from a one-time fling. It turned out he was also having an affair with another friend of theirs from the gym. He admitted to everything and was crying as he was telling her how he would never do it again, that it was all way in the past. When I asked how long ago it happened they told me it was two weeks ago. I was floored; way in the past?! But I didn’t let on. As far as I was concerned they had two little babies who needed their parents. Still I wasn’t about to condone what he had done, or make it seem like it was no big deal. It was a huge deal to her!
I’m not a therapist. In terms of marriage I think of myself as a reverse engineer. I understand how marriages work; I understand the dynamics. I know what breaks them apart and I know what holds them together. I know what makes people happy in a marriage and I know what makes people miserable. I also know that we people are not perfect. As outrageous as this man’s behavior seemed to be I have seen worse and I have seen couples get past it.
So there are questions you may wish to ask and questions you should ask.
I don’t mean to assume anything but maybe most people would be asking questions like… “Is it possible for them to get past the betrayal?” There are sub questions too… “Can he ever be trusted? Will he do it again? Will she forgive him? Will she hold it over him? Will they need therapy?” …and so on.
Those might be good questions, but I asked some different ones. The first question I asked I posed to myself. I asked myself, “What was the value of this marriage?” In other words, is there a really good reason to save the marriage? The answer to that question was a resounding yes. This was a young couple who had two little children who needed both parents in their lives ahead. Despite the general cavalier attitude many professionals have these days about how children will do after a divorce, I personally think children are destroyed by broken homes. I have discussed this at greater length in other articles so I won’t repeat myself (if you are interested in hearing my thoughts on this topic you can read more here: (blog)).
The other question I asked myself, and I know the answer very well, is how long could I expect the marriage to last if it is not a happy one? No matter how important a marriage, the reality is people won’t stay together very long if they are suffering.
I turned my attention to the couple.
I asked the young mother if she loved her husband. I think she was a little shocked to hear this question after all of this very upsetting information came to light, but I didn’t care. Despite her quizzical look I asked the question a second time, and I did so without injecting any irony into my voice. It was a straightforward question; do you love your husband? She said yes. I then asked him if he loved his wife. As the apparent guilty party he went on a bit about how much he loved her and how sorry he was, etc. But I put up my hand in a gesture for him to stop and asked him again; do you love your wife? He said yes.
In order to acknowledge her and inject a bit of humor I knew they would both appreciate I said, “You have a hell of a way of showing it.” I smiled a bit. My smile was way of communicating to them everything was going to be OK.
I asked them if they could imagine getting into an airplane without any formal instruction, and take off relying only on anecdotal tidbits from friendly relatives and friends. I asked them if they thought they would make huge mistakes or little mistakes. They both agreed they would make all kinds of mistakes and probably crash if they even got the plane off the ground to begin with. I explained to them a marriage can test us and will especially test us in areas of our own personal and individual weaknesses.
“It’s a good idea,” I said, “to recognize all people have various strengths and weaknesses that we don’t see, or even begin to imagine until that person is placed in a situation that will test them.” I said, “When we enter into a marriage it isn’t our job to criticize our partner for their weaknesses. It is our job to support them through their difficult times.”
I asked Mrs. Wife if she felt her husband was proud of his disloyalty. I asked her if when they were standing on the altar getting married she thought he was just waiting for his moment to cheat on her, or if he was a victim of his own weakness which was exasperated by the dynamics of dysfunctional behaviors. Naturally she said she didn’t know because of this current state of confusion. I assured her it wasn’t likely. I asked Mr. Husband if she was a perfect wife and then I said please don’t answer that question. I turned to Mrs. Wife and asked if she was a perfect wife. Before she could answer I told her we already knew the answer to that question, and not only is it not her fault that he cheated on her but it wasn’t his place to point out her flaws as a wife either. I told them both it was a great idea to try to be perfect. Making every effort to be the perfect spouse changes the dynamics of a marriage completely.
I told them I was sure their marriage would not only be fine, but they would probably have the most incredible marriage of any of their friends. It would be far beyond anything they ever expected, but they needed a starting point. I asked them if they were ready for that. I asked Mrs. Wife if she could have a perfect marriage would she be willing to let go of the past as best as she could. The energy shifted and I was able to help them begin their new life. I didn’t tell them what to do or offer them therapy. I simply explained what they needed to know in order to have a happy marriage and a wonderful family. I taught them the differences between a man and woman, how minds work, what a marriage is by definition, and how they could have the most amazing marriage by learning what they needed to know. They learned the differences between marital communication and other communication. We spent three 2-hour sessions together; it was all they needed.
I don’t think it’s up to me to explain away people’s behaviors or ask people to forgive each other. As far as I’m concerned the only one who needs to ask for forgiveness is the one who actually feels the pain they have caused for someone else. Until that request for forgiveness comes from an understanding of the pain it has caused, a request for forgiveness seems insincere and manipulative. But I think we should ask forgiveness from God along with guidance that teaches us the right way to behave. I also do not believe in guilt and shame. If we carried all the burdens of our past bad actions we would collapse under the weight. We’re here to learn, grow and support each other in the process.
Trust in a relationship is not as important as love in a relationship. The friends who I just described began their life again with virtually no trust. But their love made all of the difference. They were able to succeed in building a relationship because they chose to love each other despite each other’s flaws and failures. Love is not only the foundation of relationships, it is the foundation for everything. When they and other couples learned that expressions of love are what we actually do and say, they were able to go beyond selfishness and give love without the usual filters and walls.
Please don’t expect perfection from your spouse, but do expect yourself to love and support your spouse, and by all means tell them, “I love you.”
Lacy Arneson
Robert D. Cavanaugh, CLU asked:
Charitable remainder trusts can increase your income, avoid capital gains taxes, lower or eliminate estate taxes, serve as another type of retirement plan, serve humanity and put a warm feeling in your heart. Here is an example that applies to anyone contemplating selling a highly appreciated asset.
In the Path of Progress
Clarence and Mildred had a farm that has been in the family since 1930. They raised corn and had a few cattle. However, the farm has been inactive since Clarence died 10 years ago.
The farm used to be out in the country. Over the years, the neighboring city has expanded to the point that its boundaries have almost reached the farm.
A real estate development firm with an offer she finds difficult to believe has recently contacted Mildred. They want to build a giant shopping mall on her property. Moreover, they are willing to pay 14 million dollars for her 80 acres.
As much as Mildred is tied to her home of 40 years and the lifestyle, this is an easy decision. The farm was originally homesteaded and has no basis. How can she minimize the capital gain tax?
The procedure would call for her to gift the farm to a charitable remainder trust. The trust would then sell the property to the real estate developer. She should employ an estate planning attorney to assure that the gift to the trust and the subsequent sale to the real estate developer are not construed as a pre-arranged series of transactions.
Using a charitable remainder trust gives Mildred the following benefits:
1. She does more than minimize the capital gain tax; she avoids it altogether. If the capital gain rate is 15%, this saves $2,100,000 in capital gains taxes. Mary is frugal. She has saved every button that has ever come off a shirt, blouse or shirt. She is also leery. She figures she can put that $2,100,000 to better use than the people in Washington D.C.
2. A charitable remainder trust mandates an annual payout of at least 5%. That’s $700,000 a year. She is set for life and can take all the grandchildren to Disneyland every year.
3. She will get a huge tax deduction based on her charitable contribution to the trust. It will be so big that the IRS will let her carry the unused portion forward for a total of six years. It’s a good bet she will pay no income tax for the next six years.
4. She can name any number of charities to receive the 14 million in the trust when she dies. Ultimately, she could have a new church building, a wing on the hospital or scholarships named after her and Clarence for her generosity. The number of people who would benefit in the future is too many to count.
5. If she is concerned about disinheriting her heirs, she can use some of the income to buy a life insurance policy and name her children and grandchildren beneficiaries. She could also gift up to (currently) $12,000 per year to as many people as she wants without any gift tax implications.
6. No estate tax will be due at her death.
7. The 14 million will be professionally managed inside the charitable remainder trust. She has no investment worries and can set the trust up so she has a guaranteed income. Downturns in the economy, weather catastrophes or world events will have no effect on her income.
It’s true that Mildred could simply sell the farm and pay the capital gains tax. Aside from the capital gains tax, coming into this large sum of money could create more problems.
She would have to invest it while fending off suggestions from well-meaning relatives. She would have some estate planning to do to avoid half of her estate going to the government in taxes when she dies.
When you put the charitable remainder trust on the table as an option, most of these problems vanish and many additional benefits appear.
Marcelo Dimuzio
Charitable remainder trusts can increase your income, avoid capital gains taxes, lower or eliminate estate taxes, serve as another type of retirement plan, serve humanity and put a warm feeling in your heart. Here is an example that applies to anyone contemplating selling a highly appreciated asset.
In the Path of Progress
Clarence and Mildred had a farm that has been in the family since 1930. They raised corn and had a few cattle. However, the farm has been inactive since Clarence died 10 years ago.
The farm used to be out in the country. Over the years, the neighboring city has expanded to the point that its boundaries have almost reached the farm.
A real estate development firm with an offer she finds difficult to believe has recently contacted Mildred. They want to build a giant shopping mall on her property. Moreover, they are willing to pay 14 million dollars for her 80 acres.
As much as Mildred is tied to her home of 40 years and the lifestyle, this is an easy decision. The farm was originally homesteaded and has no basis. How can she minimize the capital gain tax?
The procedure would call for her to gift the farm to a charitable remainder trust. The trust would then sell the property to the real estate developer. She should employ an estate planning attorney to assure that the gift to the trust and the subsequent sale to the real estate developer are not construed as a pre-arranged series of transactions.
Using a charitable remainder trust gives Mildred the following benefits:
1. She does more than minimize the capital gain tax; she avoids it altogether. If the capital gain rate is 15%, this saves $2,100,000 in capital gains taxes. Mary is frugal. She has saved every button that has ever come off a shirt, blouse or shirt. She is also leery. She figures she can put that $2,100,000 to better use than the people in Washington D.C.
2. A charitable remainder trust mandates an annual payout of at least 5%. That’s $700,000 a year. She is set for life and can take all the grandchildren to Disneyland every year.
3. She will get a huge tax deduction based on her charitable contribution to the trust. It will be so big that the IRS will let her carry the unused portion forward for a total of six years. It’s a good bet she will pay no income tax for the next six years.
4. She can name any number of charities to receive the 14 million in the trust when she dies. Ultimately, she could have a new church building, a wing on the hospital or scholarships named after her and Clarence for her generosity. The number of people who would benefit in the future is too many to count.
5. If she is concerned about disinheriting her heirs, she can use some of the income to buy a life insurance policy and name her children and grandchildren beneficiaries. She could also gift up to (currently) $12,000 per year to as many people as she wants without any gift tax implications.
6. No estate tax will be due at her death.
7. The 14 million will be professionally managed inside the charitable remainder trust. She has no investment worries and can set the trust up so she has a guaranteed income. Downturns in the economy, weather catastrophes or world events will have no effect on her income.
It’s true that Mildred could simply sell the farm and pay the capital gains tax. Aside from the capital gains tax, coming into this large sum of money could create more problems.
She would have to invest it while fending off suggestions from well-meaning relatives. She would have some estate planning to do to avoid half of her estate going to the government in taxes when she dies.
When you put the charitable remainder trust on the table as an option, most of these problems vanish and many additional benefits appear.
Marcelo Dimuzio
Paul Banas asked:
If you are about to start a family with your spouse, you will often hear about “family planning”. But what really does it mean? Family planning is often understood as prevention of pregnancy. However, it is more than just that.
What Family Planning Really Means
Family planning refers to:
• Deciding how many children you will have
• Planning when to have a child and the time interval between children
• Selecting suitable birth control methods to prevent pregnancy
What Family Planning Does NOT Mean
Due to lack of information on family planning, many couples may make decisions that can haunt them for life. Here is what you should know about family planning:
Family Planning is NOT a one-man show
Family planning is a joint decision between the husband and wife. It is important to make informed decisions based on your as well as your spouse’s needs. For this, couples should work toward developing an open communication channel between both partners with consideration for each other’s feelings and desires.
• Talk about your desires and aspirations.
• Listen to your partner to understand his or her needs.
• Build trust by respecting your partner’s feelings and accepting differences in opinion.
It is also important to speak to a family planning counselor who can guide you and your spouse through the various birth control options available and help you evaluate the pros and cons of each.
Family planning decisions are NOT universal
Each couple is different and has different needs. What may be right for you may not be right for another couple. Your family planning decisions may depend on several factors, including personal finances, health issues, and the time you and your spouse can devote for your future children.
Family planning is NOT only about abstinence
One reason many couples opt out of family planning is because they believe it involves refraining from ***. While abstinence is one of the best birth control methods, there are many other options that you can use and still enjoy a satisfying *** life.
Here are some common birth control methods and their effectiveness (according to the Family Planning Council).
• Condoms (for males and females) : 86% – 97% for male condoms / 79% – 95% for female condoms
• Diaphragm : 80% – 94% during first year of use
• Emergency contraceptive pills : 74% – 89%
• Injections (Depo-Provera) : 99%
• Oral contraceptive pills : 95% – 99%
• Contraceptive implants (Implanon) : 95%
• Contraceptive rings (NuvaRing) : 99%
• Contraceptive patches (Ortho Evra) : 95% – 99%
• Intrauterine devices : 98% – 99%
• Cervical caps : 60% – 90%
• Female sterilization : 99%
• Vasectomy (male sterilization) : 99%
• Synthetic hormones (Norplant) : 95% – 99%
• Vaginal spermicides : 50% – 95%
• Withdrawal : 4% – 19%
Remember, each of the above birth control methods has its advantages and disadvantages. Some of the methods are irreversible and may prevent pregnancy forever. Carefully research your options well and speak to a medical expert before you make the final decision.
Alvin Glanton
If you are about to start a family with your spouse, you will often hear about “family planning”. But what really does it mean? Family planning is often understood as prevention of pregnancy. However, it is more than just that.
What Family Planning Really Means
Family planning refers to:
• Deciding how many children you will have
• Planning when to have a child and the time interval between children
• Selecting suitable birth control methods to prevent pregnancy
What Family Planning Does NOT Mean
Due to lack of information on family planning, many couples may make decisions that can haunt them for life. Here is what you should know about family planning:
Family Planning is NOT a one-man show
Family planning is a joint decision between the husband and wife. It is important to make informed decisions based on your as well as your spouse’s needs. For this, couples should work toward developing an open communication channel between both partners with consideration for each other’s feelings and desires.
• Talk about your desires and aspirations.
• Listen to your partner to understand his or her needs.
• Build trust by respecting your partner’s feelings and accepting differences in opinion.
It is also important to speak to a family planning counselor who can guide you and your spouse through the various birth control options available and help you evaluate the pros and cons of each.
Family planning decisions are NOT universal
Each couple is different and has different needs. What may be right for you may not be right for another couple. Your family planning decisions may depend on several factors, including personal finances, health issues, and the time you and your spouse can devote for your future children.
Family planning is NOT only about abstinence
One reason many couples opt out of family planning is because they believe it involves refraining from ***. While abstinence is one of the best birth control methods, there are many other options that you can use and still enjoy a satisfying *** life.
Here are some common birth control methods and their effectiveness (according to the Family Planning Council).
• Condoms (for males and females) : 86% – 97% for male condoms / 79% – 95% for female condoms
• Diaphragm : 80% – 94% during first year of use
• Emergency contraceptive pills : 74% – 89%
• Injections (Depo-Provera) : 99%
• Oral contraceptive pills : 95% – 99%
• Contraceptive implants (Implanon) : 95%
• Contraceptive rings (NuvaRing) : 99%
• Contraceptive patches (Ortho Evra) : 95% – 99%
• Intrauterine devices : 98% – 99%
• Cervical caps : 60% – 90%
• Female sterilization : 99%
• Vasectomy (male sterilization) : 99%
• Synthetic hormones (Norplant) : 95% – 99%
• Vaginal spermicides : 50% – 95%
• Withdrawal : 4% – 19%
Remember, each of the above birth control methods has its advantages and disadvantages. Some of the methods are irreversible and may prevent pregnancy forever. Carefully research your options well and speak to a medical expert before you make the final decision.
Alvin Glanton
Carol Denbow asked:
It seems as if there are a million things to consider when developing a new business venture. But does your family have the right to be considered in the process? Of course they do, but rarely do they receive equal consideration to finances, business potential, or our own personal desire to achieve success. If your family (spouse, children, parents) aren’t on board with you one hundred percent, at some point you, your business, and/or your family will bear the consequences.
New businesses require a tremendous amount of time and nurturing to develop and become successful; time that is taken from elsewhere, often from the family. Unless you’re starting a “family” business where all members are participants, someone will inevitably feel left out, or neglected.
Our family members don’t always share the same dream as we do. Their priorities may be something far from business success. To make sure our families don’t suffer due to our own ambitions, before you pursue your dream business, sit down with them and discuss the following:
• Will the business venture take away from quality time spent with family members? If so, how much is acceptable to all involved?
• Will the new business be initially funded or supported using family monies? If so, will this put a financial strain on the family?
• Do all family members agree this is a potentially successful business idea?
• Do all family members realize that most new businesses do not succeed?
• If the business is not showing signs of becoming successful, what operational time period will the family tolerate before the business is considered a failure and should be sold or closed down?
• If the new business fails, what is the alternative plan for income?
Some of the questions listed above may not have obvious answers until the business has started up and operated for some period of time. Since circumstances may vary regularly with new business, plan to review this list with the family about every six months to see what situations may have changed.
Your family needs to be in total support of your new business idea, or somewhere and at some point, somebody will suffer. Consider whether your “big idea” is worth the possibility of distancing yourself from your loved ones, or even the finality of a possible divorce.
Business owners with complete family support stand a much greater chance of success. Talk to your family and trust in their opinion before you start a new business.
Carol Denbow is the author of three books, including Are You Ready to Be Your Own Boss? available through www.BooksByDenbow.Weebly.com .
Efren Rodeman
It seems as if there are a million things to consider when developing a new business venture. But does your family have the right to be considered in the process? Of course they do, but rarely do they receive equal consideration to finances, business potential, or our own personal desire to achieve success. If your family (spouse, children, parents) aren’t on board with you one hundred percent, at some point you, your business, and/or your family will bear the consequences.
New businesses require a tremendous amount of time and nurturing to develop and become successful; time that is taken from elsewhere, often from the family. Unless you’re starting a “family” business where all members are participants, someone will inevitably feel left out, or neglected.
Our family members don’t always share the same dream as we do. Their priorities may be something far from business success. To make sure our families don’t suffer due to our own ambitions, before you pursue your dream business, sit down with them and discuss the following:
• Will the business venture take away from quality time spent with family members? If so, how much is acceptable to all involved?
• Will the new business be initially funded or supported using family monies? If so, will this put a financial strain on the family?
• Do all family members agree this is a potentially successful business idea?
• Do all family members realize that most new businesses do not succeed?
• If the business is not showing signs of becoming successful, what operational time period will the family tolerate before the business is considered a failure and should be sold or closed down?
• If the new business fails, what is the alternative plan for income?
Some of the questions listed above may not have obvious answers until the business has started up and operated for some period of time. Since circumstances may vary regularly with new business, plan to review this list with the family about every six months to see what situations may have changed.
Your family needs to be in total support of your new business idea, or somewhere and at some point, somebody will suffer. Consider whether your “big idea” is worth the possibility of distancing yourself from your loved ones, or even the finality of a possible divorce.
Business owners with complete family support stand a much greater chance of success. Talk to your family and trust in their opinion before you start a new business.
Carol Denbow is the author of three books, including Are You Ready to Be Your Own Boss? available through www.BooksByDenbow.Weebly.com .
Efren Rodeman
Steven W Allen asked:
Your living trust is much more than just a will that says which heirs get what percentage or which specific items that you leave behind should go to whom. A living trust details how and when heirs are to receive their inheritance, who is to take over any businesses in question, and many crucial issues of your estate. A living trust is very specific in how an estate is to be dealt with. Therefore, the choice of a trustee for your living trust is a very important decision in your estate planning process.
Living Trusts: Choosing a Trusted Friend
When choosing a person to be the trustee of your living will, you need to answer on question:
Who could step into my place and confidently act as I would in carrying out my wishes?
It is vitally important to choose someone that you have full faith and confidence in. You should feel at ease that he or she would carry out your requests as they are written in your estate planning documents. Some typical choices include a close family friend, close family member, child, or trusted nephew or niece.
While you may feel completely secure in trusting this huge responsibility for carrying out your wishes to a family member, there are several situations when that is not wise or possible. In that case, your estate planning wishes can be addressed by a trusted outsider.
Living Trusts: Choosing an Outside Trustee
If you do not have a close friend or relative that you feel comfortable leaving this job to, or if by selecting one of the heirs will cause conflict, then there are other options. You can hire an outside trustee like your bank, a trust company, your lawyer, or an expert estate planning attorney.
These professionals are well versed in what it requires to be a trustee and can often work more expediently and effectively, which saves the heirs money and time. While there are many benefits to not having a family member involved as the trustee of your living trust, there are also some drawbacks to using a bank or trust company as your trustee. For instance, you may find higher fees, and a minimal estate value of around $700,000.
No matter whom you choose, you want to be sure that you have full confidence in them to do exactly as you want, no matter what other people say. There may be heirs who are unhappy with the terms and conditions of the living trust and will try to sway your representative to do as they want. Knowing that you have a strong, trustworthy individual protecting your wishes will provide peace of mind.
Chau Lalin
Your living trust is much more than just a will that says which heirs get what percentage or which specific items that you leave behind should go to whom. A living trust details how and when heirs are to receive their inheritance, who is to take over any businesses in question, and many crucial issues of your estate. A living trust is very specific in how an estate is to be dealt with. Therefore, the choice of a trustee for your living trust is a very important decision in your estate planning process.
Living Trusts: Choosing a Trusted Friend
When choosing a person to be the trustee of your living will, you need to answer on question:
Who could step into my place and confidently act as I would in carrying out my wishes?
It is vitally important to choose someone that you have full faith and confidence in. You should feel at ease that he or she would carry out your requests as they are written in your estate planning documents. Some typical choices include a close family friend, close family member, child, or trusted nephew or niece.
While you may feel completely secure in trusting this huge responsibility for carrying out your wishes to a family member, there are several situations when that is not wise or possible. In that case, your estate planning wishes can be addressed by a trusted outsider.
Living Trusts: Choosing an Outside Trustee
If you do not have a close friend or relative that you feel comfortable leaving this job to, or if by selecting one of the heirs will cause conflict, then there are other options. You can hire an outside trustee like your bank, a trust company, your lawyer, or an expert estate planning attorney.
These professionals are well versed in what it requires to be a trustee and can often work more expediently and effectively, which saves the heirs money and time. While there are many benefits to not having a family member involved as the trustee of your living trust, there are also some drawbacks to using a bank or trust company as your trustee. For instance, you may find higher fees, and a minimal estate value of around $700,000.
No matter whom you choose, you want to be sure that you have full confidence in them to do exactly as you want, no matter what other people say. There may be heirs who are unhappy with the terms and conditions of the living trust and will try to sway your representative to do as they want. Knowing that you have a strong, trustworthy individual protecting your wishes will provide peace of mind.
Chau Lalin
Muna wa Wanjiru asked:
We have all heard of the terms last will and testament. These are legal terms that are made up top divide a persons’ wealth to others once the creator of the will is dead. A living trust on the other hand is made and acted on while the settlor – this is the person who initiates the living trust – is alive. As this can be a complicated procedure you will find there are free Living Trust sites that can provide you with helpful information.
From these different sites you should look at the different ways that a living trust can be made. While the free Living Trust information can provide you with help you will still need to get some legal help. The first item that you should have clarified for you is the terms by which these trust matters come up in.
Once you know this item you can then decide the length of time your Living Trust is going to be active. As you look through the different free Living Trust sites you will find that even though the trust has been set up it can also be revoked.
As you look for help and advice you’re a Living Trust you will hear this trust being referred to by other terms. These terms are called the Inter Vivos Trust and the Revocable Trust. While the names may sound confusing, you only need to focus on how the trust works.
The free Living Trust sites will provide you with some information about the two different types of Living Trust funds. The first way that you can set up a stable and secure Living Trust is to choose how you will proceed with your changing the fund into a either individual trusts or that of a corporate trustee.
With both of types of these living trust funds there are advantages and disadvantages. The free Living Trust sites will provide you with the ability of deciding if you want to have a corporate trustee to handle your trust funds. This corporate trustee position is seldom finished even if there any problems.
With the personal living trust the various free Living Trust sites will provide you with the information to get a new trustee to look after your assets. While these types of Living Trusts popular you will be able to see how a Living Trust will help you with the settling of your estate.
This information that you can find are helpful tips. If you can see a free Living Trust site you will know what you can legally do with your family assets. These are just a few of the items that you can find when you are looking at the mounds of information for the free Living Trust.
Monroe Delanuez
We have all heard of the terms last will and testament. These are legal terms that are made up top divide a persons’ wealth to others once the creator of the will is dead. A living trust on the other hand is made and acted on while the settlor – this is the person who initiates the living trust – is alive. As this can be a complicated procedure you will find there are free Living Trust sites that can provide you with helpful information.
From these different sites you should look at the different ways that a living trust can be made. While the free Living Trust information can provide you with help you will still need to get some legal help. The first item that you should have clarified for you is the terms by which these trust matters come up in.
Once you know this item you can then decide the length of time your Living Trust is going to be active. As you look through the different free Living Trust sites you will find that even though the trust has been set up it can also be revoked.
As you look for help and advice you’re a Living Trust you will hear this trust being referred to by other terms. These terms are called the Inter Vivos Trust and the Revocable Trust. While the names may sound confusing, you only need to focus on how the trust works.
The free Living Trust sites will provide you with some information about the two different types of Living Trust funds. The first way that you can set up a stable and secure Living Trust is to choose how you will proceed with your changing the fund into a either individual trusts or that of a corporate trustee.
With both of types of these living trust funds there are advantages and disadvantages. The free Living Trust sites will provide you with the ability of deciding if you want to have a corporate trustee to handle your trust funds. This corporate trustee position is seldom finished even if there any problems.
With the personal living trust the various free Living Trust sites will provide you with the information to get a new trustee to look after your assets. While these types of Living Trusts popular you will be able to see how a Living Trust will help you with the settling of your estate.
This information that you can find are helpful tips. If you can see a free Living Trust site you will know what you can legally do with your family assets. These are just a few of the items that you can find when you are looking at the mounds of information for the free Living Trust.
Monroe Delanuez
Wycliffe Williams asked:
Is the day upon us when we need to vote reform family courts to support shared parenting? It’s a sad day when the parent who places the best interests of the child first-loses in court!
Many times their loss comes about only because they don’t know how to make their best case. And their attorneys are just as bad!
Two child custody lawyers with over 30 years each in the child custody field have combined their decades of experience to produce the awesome book “2006 Custody Strategies.”
They have been expert witnesses, custody evaluators and consultants. These two authors are also editors of a national publication on custody matters. They have stuffed a tremendous amount of information into this book.
A few of the chapters are, “Most frequently Made Error.” The authors have expressed shock that even attorneys who are caught up in custody battles themselves don’t know this single most important fact. They call it the best kept secret in the world.
Another chapter, “The Single Biggest False Assumption,” zeroes in on a crucial assumption that all and sundry run after as if in thrall of some Merlin.
Would you like to know 14 strategies that you can use in order to make a strong case for yourself? Of course you would. Strategy #1… you’ll have to get the book!
It is a travesty when a child is manipulated and brainwashed into turning against the other parent. It is truly a sad day when this happens. The authors have included a brilliant chapter called, “The Bribed Or Manipulated Child.”
If you believe that an evaluation was biased, or maybe even incomplete or just downright inaccurate, what can you do? They have included an excellent chapter on this very thing.
Are your funds tight? Are you cutting it close to the bone? Don’t worry, you’re not alone, trust me! They even have a wonderful chapter on the costs you can expect. And how to control them.
The authors have included what I believe to be the best bonus ever! We live in an ever changing world. Laws are enacted, policies are done away with and a new way of doing things is adopted.
They review and update whenever necessary. And those updates are free. When you purchase this book you are always current and up to date! That alone is worth the price of the book.
Danielle Lichter
Is the day upon us when we need to vote reform family courts to support shared parenting? It’s a sad day when the parent who places the best interests of the child first-loses in court!
Many times their loss comes about only because they don’t know how to make their best case. And their attorneys are just as bad!
Two child custody lawyers with over 30 years each in the child custody field have combined their decades of experience to produce the awesome book “2006 Custody Strategies.”
They have been expert witnesses, custody evaluators and consultants. These two authors are also editors of a national publication on custody matters. They have stuffed a tremendous amount of information into this book.
A few of the chapters are, “Most frequently Made Error.” The authors have expressed shock that even attorneys who are caught up in custody battles themselves don’t know this single most important fact. They call it the best kept secret in the world.
Another chapter, “The Single Biggest False Assumption,” zeroes in on a crucial assumption that all and sundry run after as if in thrall of some Merlin.
Would you like to know 14 strategies that you can use in order to make a strong case for yourself? Of course you would. Strategy #1… you’ll have to get the book!
It is a travesty when a child is manipulated and brainwashed into turning against the other parent. It is truly a sad day when this happens. The authors have included a brilliant chapter called, “The Bribed Or Manipulated Child.”
If you believe that an evaluation was biased, or maybe even incomplete or just downright inaccurate, what can you do? They have included an excellent chapter on this very thing.
Are your funds tight? Are you cutting it close to the bone? Don’t worry, you’re not alone, trust me! They even have a wonderful chapter on the costs you can expect. And how to control them.
The authors have included what I believe to be the best bonus ever! We live in an ever changing world. Laws are enacted, policies are done away with and a new way of doing things is adopted.
They review and update whenever necessary. And those updates are free. When you purchase this book you are always current and up to date! That alone is worth the price of the book.
Danielle Lichter